Jan
19

Perry’s Out; Now What?

Well it’s finally happened. Rick Perry’s campaign, derailed by poor debate performance and an insistence by some members of the conservative punditariat that vaccines were more important than a record of job creation, has ended.

It ended on a good note, as Perry left the race without playing spoiler. His supporters in South Carolina represent a not-insignificant number of voters who could tip the balance in this primary. If the goal is to deny Mitt Romney victory in SC and begin to arrest his momentum, Perry did the right thing by dropping out.

I’m not sure I agree with his endorsement of Gingrich. I understand an endorsement as a political move, certainly. I haven’t sorted through all my feelings about Newt, though. On the one hand I really like his style and he does have a record of achievement. On the other hand, I really dislike some elements of his style and his record of scandal. Is it possible to simultaneously dislike and admire pomposity? I’m terribly confused about this whole thing.

I don’t want to dwell on what might have been if Perry had performed well, or if he hadn’t been hit with the somehow-relevant-to-a-jobs-election Gardasil attack, or if Mitt Romney’s people hadn’t attacked him from the left on Social Security. The fact is that the voters in Iowa and NH made their views quite clear. I won’t even entertain the notion that many of the fine people who voted in those states were Democrats. I’m not bitter, and it wouldn’t do any good to nurse a grudge anyway.

So now I have a choice to make. Do I support Gingrich, as Perry suggests? What about Rick Santorum, who matches my views on social issues but perhaps not on the size and scope of government? Should I begin abusing drugs, the better to inure myself to eventual support of Ron Paul? That would be the most fun, I think.

Or, here’s a crazy idea: Perhaps I should get on board with Romney. I supported him over McCain in 2008. Funny thing: my dislike of Mike Huckabee is entirely due to Huck’s inability to reconcile his campaign’s fate to mathematical certitude, which I felt cost Romney the nomination. Huck was the spoiler in 2008 that Perry refused to become. But political allegiances shift with the times, and this year I find that Romney is not the most attractive option for defeating Barack Obama. That option just left the race today.

Truth be told, I’ll end up supporting one of these men by summertime. I will pull the lever dutifully in November. I may even defend the reputation of the candidate from unfair Democratic attacks. But I think especially in the case of Romney, it will be a bloodless sort of defense.

Petty? Short-sighted? Bitter? Maybe a little.

I will wait until the South Carolina primary ends to see whether I should throw my money to Romney or one of his arguably more conservative opponents. Until then, I’ll just hang round the outside and heap scorn on the deserving.

Jan
19

Obama’s New Jobs Plan

The following is [probably not -- BofN Legal] a preview of selected comments from President Obama’s latest jobs speech, at Disney World. He may decide to change it at the last minute.

My Fellow Americans, distinguished guests, children of the world, Mickey Mouse and Friends:

It is my special pleasure to be with you here at Disney World, the Happiest Place on Earth. Not quite Hawaii or the Vineyard, but I could certainly take a 5 or 6 day vacation here. This castle, man, sure beats my place in D.C. (chuckles)

Today I want to discuss with you my vision for America. I want to bring jobs back to this great country. I want to make this a place where people wake up ready to roll up their sleeves and do a hard day’s work. For far too long, laziness and irrational fear among Republicans has thwarted this effort in Congress. I’m here to tell them, “We Can’t Wait. ®

To that end, I’m happy to share my latest plan to create jobs here in the U.S.A. No shovels this time! (chuckles)

The specifics will be revealed over the next few months, but the basics are something like this: America, it’s time to become the number one tourist stop on the planet. Many nations rely on tourist dollars to provide jobs and income to their citizens. In places like Greece and Jamaica, for instance, the tourist industry allows them to provide generous government services at practically no cost to their nation of busboys, bartenders and day-tripping pleasure boat captains. I mean, until recently of course. But obviously our level of spending is very different from a place like Greece. Let me be clear: I don’t think we’re Greece.

No, what I propose is a two-pronged strategy to simultaneously devalue our currency – work I am proud to say I’ve already begun – and shorten the wait time for tourist visas to make it easier for foreigners with money to visit our shores. That’s right, folks, I’m so serious about job creation I’m going to lessen a regulatory burden. True, it’s on non-Americans but we will all benefit. Let me explain.

America has a long history of serving others. From the soup kitchen, to the beaches of Normandy, America has always been a service industry sort of country. It’s time to embrace this aspect of our national character and move forward into a new era wherein Americans do not ask what they can do for themselves, but what they can do for foreign tourists who do not always know how to tip properly.

Think of a young man who hasn’t had work for 18 months. He’s been living comfortably on the generous unemployment benefits some Republicans would like to eliminate completely. But then he sees an opportunity. By now, Brazilian girls having their…their…whatever you call a Quinceañera in Brazilian – they will be flooding this country. This young man can move here to Orlando and find work traipsing about in a Mickey Mouse costume – or well, maybe a Chip or Dale costume, got to work up to Mickey (chuckles) – in 110 degree Florida weather to the delight of moneyed foreign hordes. Look, I might want that job in a few months.

Imagine an older woman, who lost her job in 2007 or something – way before I got here, not my fault by the way. She Can’t Wait! Those costumes need mending, or some of this food needs cooking. Just sweeping up this Main Street USA and cleaning up the vomit from heat stroke victims is worth several full time jobs. Imagine how much more work that will be when we invite wealthy third-worlders with their cornucopia of new diseases to the Magic Kingdom.

Yes we can® not wait® for this measure to take effect, America. I urge you to contact Congress immediately and let them know that this summer, you want to work in the service industry. God Bless You, and God Bless the United States of America.

“Let me be clear: I’m still not going to wear these.”

Jan
11

News of the Day: Limerick Edition 1-11-12

ROMNEY SEWS IT UP, SMUG JERKS SEEM READY TO CLAIM AFTER ONE PRIMARY

What a very strange journey we’re on

When Romney can pass off this con

That he’s not progressive -

It’s very impressive!

Though a disappointing denouement…

 

It’s just a shame all the other guys

Proved themselves insufficiently wise.

But that’s not nearly fair

Because Mitt and his hair

Spent six years in pursuit of this prize.

 

After all that time training you’d think

That Mitt would know enough not to link

His Bain business venture,

And GM’s indenture,

Lest he see what support he has shrink.

 

But then folks, what the hell do I know?

Maybe Mitt is more than a RINO.

If it’s Mitt I will live

As a conservative:

I’ll stop bitching and be a wino.

Jan
08

Book Review: Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea

With the recent death of Kim Jong-Il, America’s favorite dictator, the situation in Chosŏn is somewhat ambiguous. What seems to be clear, through the spectacle of the funeral and fake mourning, is that Jong-Il’s son, Jong Un is moving to consolidate his power according to his father’s wishes. Indeed, what few reports have been verified indicate that sudden reserves of food have become available as if they were a parting gift from the deceased tyrant. Of course, everyone on the outside sees the chain of events, knows the history and identifies this as a blatant attempt to coerce the people into supporting the young Kim.

He fed many of his people nearly some of the time.

It’s so clear to us. Why don’t the North Koreans see what we do? I recently read a book that helped me make sense of the country – insofar as that is possible for the average person.

Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea by Barbara Demick is a compelling look into the world of the average North Korean. Pieced together from her interviews with defectors and her own visits to North Korea, Demick reveals a world where the kindly old lady in your apartment block is most often a government informant tasked with probing her neighbors for signs of disloyalty; where state-issued television sets are tuned to one station, and inspected to ensure they are not tampered with; where people become used to seeing dead bodies on the street, wasted from starvation; where despite this there still exists the spark of humanity and love.

Demick’s interviews reveal people who are more than just plaintive victims of a barbaric Communist regime. Oh, there are plenty of those in the book. One defector reflects on the fact that it was the good people who died first. They refused to subvert the system by stealing, or *gasp* forming small businesses that were not controlled by the Party. As the regime’s ability to feed its people waned, so too did some of the strictest rules of society, for a while. Tantalizing glimpses of freedom and self-sufficiency led the defectors to question the lies they had been told all their lives. Eventually they made a move, sometimes at great personal cost to the ones left behind.

I was in the middle of this book when Kim died. I hastened to finish it and get a better sense of what we were witnessing. As it was written in 2009 much of it is relevant to the current picture of life in North Korea. I got a sense that even with the instability in the current regime, the Korean people have a long way to go before they will be free. If the Communists go, who takes their place? Would the South Koreans even want to unify? One thing is clear, and that is that among the North Korean people there are those who are willing to defy the incredible oppression of this illegitimate dynasty. Ultimately, I’m left with some hope.

Dec
30

Events Are Not to My Liking; and Other Things of Marginal Concern to You

It’s not that I haven’t wanted to write; it’s just that there are so many things I want to do at a given moment that eclipse my desire to write a blog post and cast it into the cold unfeeling nether.

All that aside, I’m here now and I’m pissed. Why? You might well ask that if you, a living human being, were actually reading this instead of being used as a mere device to accommodate my unwieldy prose. As I am reasonably confident you do not exist and are not asking anything at all, I will continue on ahead without regard to any of your subsequent “questions,” adorably ignorant though they be.

The reason my imaginary audience finds me so peevish today is due primarily to political developments. The Republican primary is, as they say in France, totally cocked up. The latest polls show Mitt Romney has a chance of winning Iowa – weird enough alone. But Ron Paul is also forecast to make a strong showing. As a final slap in the face to my good humor, Rick Santorum (a perfectly decent man with troubling Big Government leanings) is now “surging” to a heretofore unimaginable 16%. Oh, whatever.

If one envisions the Iowa electorate as a slutty cheerleader, and I do, then Rick Santorum is the next to last football player in line to be…no, let’s abandon that one. Undignified.

The fickle conservative base has utterly failed at this point to coalesce behind a viable alternative to Mitt Romney, which is nobody’s fault but our own. My feelings on Rick Perry are known, and I maintain his record on jobs and governing Texas far outweighs poor debate performances and gaffes. As each Conservative Tiger Beat Fantasy Candidate had a turn being idolized, scrutinized, and then tossed aside, Mitt Romney sat back and waited. He yet abides, though of course nothing is certain.

But that’s not even what has me spun up lately. It’s the Ron Paul thing. Has there ever been a clearer indication that the denizens of the fever swamp have ventured out of their domain of veiled anti-Semitism, clandestine-to-overt racism, neo-isolationist America Firsterism, and paranoia to walk in the sunlight with good Conservative folk? How did we let this happen?

NE-O-CONSSSSSSSSS!!!

When Buckley drove the Birchers into their holes, did we not post sentries against their inevitable return? Did these thought-goblins change shape, somehow? Glamour us with soothing harsh criticism of the Obama administration? Did we allow our focus on the rotten economy to blind us to the fact that somehow the creeps were creeping back in to the party of Conservatism?

Let’s face it very plainly – Ron Paul and his followers are not truly conservatives. There are several points of contrast, between Conservatives on the one hand and Ron Paul and his Libertarian Cult of Personality on the other. As you are doubtless growing bored with this post, I shall not attempt to list them but a casual reading of existing literature may elucidate matters.

Conservatives acknowledge political reality, foremost among those realities that America has Enemies. Ron Paul seems to believe if we do not meddle with people like the Iranians, they will leave us alone, and their regional power grasping won’t affect our interest. Ron Paul is not a Conservative. Ron Paul is an old fool.

We Conservatives are the more foolish for not being sufficiently aware of who we are to formally and finally excise the stunted little wart.

Today’s rant partially inspired by this article from Matt Lewis.

Dec
12

Look Not Into the Snowman’s Eye

It’s that time of year when the radio station robot-DJs engage their Christmas playlist subroutines. I was listening at work today, and “Frosty the Snowman” came on.

Perhaps it is more indicative of my frame of my mind than I should reveal, but suddenly I heard the song in frightening new ways. No longer was this “jolly happy soul” a mere walking snow man, he was a shambling horror driven by a desperate urge to experience life, horrible life, before he dies in slow, unrelentingly melty fashion.

An enemy of the sun, warmth, goodness; possessed of only passing regard for traffic cops; animated by dark totemic magic. Oh, we adults have forgotten that terrible day. We’ve swept it from our minds as if with a broomstick, clutched in trembling hands.

But the children…the children know. They remember how, on that day, the foundations of our carefully crafted belief systems (pathetic in their inability and unwillingness to grapple with this sanity-shattering reality) were shaken by the steady beat of a snow-golem’s approach.

Thumpety thump-thump, thumpety thump-thump.

Over the hills of snow…dare we ask what else lies beyond those hills? Dare we not ask?

 Thump. Thump.

 

THERE ARE NO LEGS MOVING THOSE BOOTS.

Frosty the Snowman
Was a jolly happy soul
With a corncob pipe and a button nose
And two eyes made out of coal

Frosty the Snowman
Is a fairytale they say
He was made of snow
But the children know
How he came to life one day

There must have been some magic
In that old silk hat they found
For when they placed it on his head
He began to dance around
Frosty the Snowman

Was alive as he could be 
And the children say 
He could laugh and play
Just the same as you and me

Frosty the Snowman
Knew the sun was hot that day
So he said let’s run
And we’ll have some fun
Now before I melt away

Down to the village
With a broomstick in his hand
Running here and there all around the square
Saying catch me if you can

He led them down the streets of town
Right to the traffic cop
And he only paused a moment when
He heard him holler stop

Frosty the Snowman
Had to hurry on his way
But he waved goodbye
Saying don’t you cry 
I’ll be back again some day

Thumpety thump thump
Thumpety thump thump
Look at Frosty go

Thumpety thump thump
Thumpety thump thump
Over the hills of snow

Dec
07

Blurbs

I don’t have the energy, interest, wherewithal or pluck to attempt a blog post longer than a few words. I shall therefore apply a scattershot approach, and hit on several topics or random thoughts. Join me on this potentially amazing experience.

***

Bad news out of Smithfield, my hometown. The priest there has been suspended from his duties due to shameful misconduct. As it turns out, he’s been carrying on a years-long relationship with a young woman, which has resulted in a baby. None of this came to light, of course, until his arrrest on November 28th for assault and battery on the woman. Break ups are hard to deal with, I suppose.

On the one hand, I’m striking all the appropriate poses and praying for all involved. On the other, I’m disgusted with all parties involved. First and foremost, the priest comes in for my condemnation. I’m sure it’s terribly difficult to be a priest, but nobody forces you to take the job. You know certain things going in to the Roman Catholic priesthood: get comfortable in black, you will attend lots of dinners, people will bother you nearly every day with trivial concerns, and you will be celibate. It shouldn’t be a surprise.

I’m willing to allow that “life happens” but if you aren’t strong enough a man to reconcile the differences between your vows of obedience and chastity to God and your feelings for a woman then steps must be taken. Leave the priesthood. Follow your heart/penis. Don’t bring scandal to a Church many of us already have a really hard time defending.

***

The race for the Republican nomination is another disheartening crapstorm. Herman Cain suspended his campaign after a woman came forward alleging a 13-year affair. Newt Gingrich has continued to build momentum and is now the frontrunner. This would be fine if I wasn’t sure the question of his hubris bringing him low will be a matter of a coin toss. Romney abides with his core of support, but he looks weak in many key areas that I’m not going to reiterate here. Read a damn paper.

My chosen candidate, Rick Perry, is really not performing well. There, I said it. He’s in the single digits or slightly better, which I suppose could change if/when Newt goes up in a white-hot fireball of self-regard. I’m not holding my breath. But on principle, I picked Perry. I’ll pick another candidate when I have to. But I still like him.

The rest of them are beneath consideration.

***

That’s all you get. Sorry for wasting your time.

Nov
16

Decision 2012

I’ve decided that I am going to support Rick Perry for President of the United States.

Some regular readers here and on Twitter (mostly on Twitter; this blog is like an Alaskan mining town – rich in resources but scantly populated) may have noticed that I’ve resisted making a decision about lending my active support to a candidate this cycle. There are a few reasons for this. 

In 2008, I was very excited about Fred Thompson. We know how that turned out. I learned then that what looks good on paper doesn’t always work in the real world. The human factor will throw you every time.

Another key lesson is that what sounds good to the ear doesn’t always mean, well, anything once the brain gets a chance to sort through it. Witness Barack Obama, who managed to coast to the Presidency on nothing more substantive than amorphous hope and change. He let the voters fill in the blanks, and they did.

Finally, I think it’s because I’ve become convinced of the stakes that I want our candidate to be capable of not just beating Obama, but arresting our downward momentum.

The eventual candidate must be bold, because only bold action will reverse the damage done by years of Obama’s mismanagement. The candidate must be willing to combat the mentality that the government exists to work for you, to provide for you, to do those things you can do for yourself. He has to go into this with his eyes open to the enormous debt we’ve incurred under both Republican and Democratic presidents. He has to understand that the best people to solve the problems facing this economy are individuals empowered to act. This candidate will need to be appealing, personable, and mindful of the will of the people who consent to be governed.

Having watched, and weighed, and - most importantly – mocked him, I think Rick Perry is that man.

Let me briefly go through the rest of the candidates, and explain why I do not support them.

 

Please Don't Hate Me!

 

  • Bachmann – Scrappy, resilient, a real fighter for fiscal and social conservatism. But her experience in Congress does not lend itself to the sort of executive leadership the Presidency requires. Nor do I think her personal appeal is sufficient to overcome the scorn and derision she’ll face as a female social conservative. Petty, but there it is.
  • Huntsman – Here’s one of those “looks good on paper” types. He has shown himself to be articulate and intelligent. He is a conservative. But if you can’t connect with the base, you can’t get elected. He turns people off.  The perception that the media was actively promoting him in the beginning probably did the most to hurt him.
  • Santorum – He’s just out of step with the times. I don’t mean about social issues – that’s his strength. Would he actually shrink government? I don’t think so. I want him as the Health & Human Services Secretary. Imagine the good he might do. But the writing is on the wall for his Presidential aspirations. Let’s mention this, too: he can be a whiner.
  • Paul – Regardless of how right he is about some aspects of the economy and the Constitutional role of the government, Paul is a neo-isolationist. America can’t simply ignore potential threats until the enemy is capable of action. By then, it’s too late. America has to be proactive, and Ron Paul seems fundamentally reactive in nature. That’s death. As a doctor, Paul should know that sometimes the treatment for a disease has to be gradual or you will shock the system badly. Paul is a zealot, and we don’t elect those. Also, he looks like a child wearing his father’s suit and he apparently refuses to consult a tailor.
  • Cain – Cain’s appealing personality and support for tax reform (despite an unrealistic plan) cannot overcome his dismal command of the facts and the terrible way his campaign has dealt with frontrunner status and its attendant scandals. If a campaign is a micro-governance, Cain has shown he does not pick the right people to advise him. Added to that, his very public and very confusing statements on abortion and collective bargaining show incompetence or unpreparedness. I prefer Herman Cain, private citizen.
  • Gingrich – Yes, America will vote on personal baggage. Yes, they will bristle when Newt is inevitably portrayed as talking down to them. Yes, his record of leadership will come under intense scrutiny. To be completely truthful, I am conflicted here. What if a “First-Rate Madness” style Presidency is what we need? Maybe it is, but Newt isn’t the man to achieve it. Do we play it safe or go for broke? I allow that men of good will can disagree on whether Gingrich could win. I have made my choice.
  • Romney – We’re told Mitt is inevitable. We’re told he’s the best chance we have to defeat Obama. We’re told a lot of things about Mitt Romney, some of them contradictory and some of those contradictions come from Romney himself. I’ve been struggling with whether I wanted to take the calculated risk of a Romney candidacy. Do I trust Mitt to follow through on his campaign rhetoric? Do I really think he will have appeal beyond a certain core audience? Will he be able to work with Congress, or will he falter at a key moment? And, fairly or not, Romneycare is a millstone around his neck. Obama merely needs to point to Romney in debate and give homage to R-Care as groundwork for the Affordable Care Act. It’s a short jump from there to painting Republicans as hypocritical for opposing Obama’s signature, massively unpopular legislation. The federalism argument might work in a country that cared. At the last, would President Romney shrink government?

There are several reasons to support any of these candidates. There are many to oppose them and doubtless I’ve only captured a few. If you’re reading this, I trust you would agree that 1000 words is preferable to 5000 in this format, by this writer…

I will write a post explaining why I have chosen to overlook Perry’s shortcomings, which are not inconsiderable. What I’ve attempted to do is show that I’ve actually thought about this. My hope is that as primary season hits, we can choose sides and argue our points productively.

Nov
14

Know Your Political Cults

This political season has seen the conservative movement struggle with its identity and its prospects for the future. A lot is on the line in the 2012 election, certainly. What I’ve noticed more and more is just how personally everyone seems to take the merest criticism of their preferred candidate. The reactions range from defensive scorn to pleading to outright anger. This condition is widely known by its clinical name, “butthurt”.

The butthurt person cannot conceive of why you don’t support their candidate, nor can they forgive you.

“How could you betray the conservative movement this way? Don’t you realize that it is your own children you are forsaking when you support [Someone Who is Not My Guy]? It’s clear you were never a conservative to begin with.” — Example of Stage IV Butthurt

Butthurt manifests itself often as feigned regret at the hopelessly misguided nature of the apostate. Jokes about the candidates only serve to inflame the situation.

The most famous example of this is the wild behavior surrounding Sarah Palin’s non-entry into the race. Up til the very last minute before her announcement (among the truly cultish, to this very day) the “Palinistas” angrily defended the honor of Sarah P., questioning the commitment of their allies who had lost faith in Sarah the savior. Not supporting Palin was tantamount to voting for Barack Obama, twice.

Which brings me to my point. As part of this butthurt mentality, one legitimately entertaining phenomenon has arisen: the derogatory nickname for the other guy’s followers.

You see, regardless of how zealously one defends his own candidate the supporters of the other fella are the real kooks. The subtext is always, “Thank goodness I am not like them!”

Thus, a peculiar naming convention has developed as each side comes in for scorn from all others. This is no doubt partly a shorthand, as brevity on the Internet is a cardinal virtue (most especially on Twitter).

The following are the best of the derogatory nicknames for the Republican candidates, according to an exhaustive 20 minutes of research I did on Twitter this very morning.

  • Mitt Romney - Is ideological consistency important to you? Do you hate Powerpoint presentations? Do you wear jeans more than 3 times a year? If you answered no to these questions, you might be a Mittwit.
  • Rick Perry – You know he’s great. He’s got the record. Why doesn’t everyone else see how great he is? He shot a coyote! So he had a bad debate or four, oops! So what? If you’re keeping the faith, you could be a Perrykrishna.
  • Herman Cain – It’s so simple, people. How many times do you have to say it? NINE-NINE-NINE. Don’t ask questions! 9-9-9! Stop saying VAT! 9-9-9! Grasp of the issues? He never touched the issues! The issues just want money. If the preceding made sense, you are a Cainiac.
  • Ron Paul – You might not realize this, but Ron Paul is the only honest man running for President. He’ll audit the Fed, get us out of foreign wars, legalize weed, expel the Jews, restore the power of the 10th Amendment, and never, ever be corrupted by the office if he’s somehow elected. What’s so controversial about that? If you don’t need a Universal Translator to follow this logic, you’re a Ronulan.
  • Newt Gingrich – Can your candidate explain how the price of a McGriddle is linked to the Defenestration of Prague? Everyone knows that when asked a question, ripping apart a debate moderator is the best answer. Besides, who cares about someone’s actual record of leadership back in the ’90s? That was two decades ago! Honestly, the voters are sooo beyond voting on issues of personal baggage. If you discount the fact that the voters have been conditioned by a decade of reality TV to vote precisely on personal baggage, you are a Newt Loop.
  • The Rest – The other candidates, unfortunately, do not have the support they need to provide useful fodder for mockery. At one time Bachmann was close, but that ship has sailed. We must content ourselves with the less colorful “-ites” or “-ians” when mocking the poor souls who support these candidates. It’s hardly sporting.

This post could not have been completed without the help of many fine people on Twitter. The ones whom I have specifically ripped off are @ravgames, who gave me “Mittwits,” and @EstablishmentDC, who reminded me of “Perrykrishnas.”

Now that that unpleasant attribution business is concluded, you may go back to arguing amongst yourselves over which is the most stupid Republican this week.

Nov
03

Letter to Occupy Norfolk

To the Editor, Virginian-Pilot:
Occupy Norfolk and the larger Occupy movement have devolved into what astute critics said they would from the start: farce and ruin.
Our own Norfolk chapter of the “movement” (which has no goals, no leadership, and sadly no end in sight) has failed to gain much traction. Why the city renewed their permit I shall never know, but a casual observance: when the porta-johns outnumber the people it may be time to reconsider whether it’s worth propping up an increasingly tiresome temper tantrum.
The main effect of the Occupy Norfolk movement has been to deny people with jobs a pleasant place to sit and enjoy their lunch. Their most unqualified success has been providing passers-by with laughably unworkable solutions to economic disparity, in the medium of crudely hand-painted signs. In all ways, their effort is a triumph of mediocrity. It is to their credit that there have been no reported sexual assaults, as at other Occupy sites. This is an admittedly low hurdle, but one that others have failed to clear nonetheless.
We see the latest news from California, where a gang of union workers, Occupy protesters and various other disaffected malcontents shut down operations at the Port of Oakland. A raft of anarchists in their midst went on to vandalize property and disrupt further the tenuous peace. The predictable police response has been met with outrage, as if starting bonfires and smashing windows should invite no reprisal. Do riots hurt the 1%? I think not.
This sort of thing makes one perversely thankful for our local dolts at Occupy Norfolk. Their manifest inadequacies (and, perhaps, fundamental decency) prevent them from ever being so disruptive to our economy, and thereby hurting that beloved 99%.
It’s time to go home, Occupiers. You’ve made your point, and we all know you got a raw deal. As your neighbors in this community, there is sympathy for that (believe it or not). But you won’t get much further with the people you are trying to influence by sleeping in the park. And it surely doesn’t help you find a job.
 
Regards,

 

UPDATE: Printed 11-7-11. I have a really good track record with these things.

Man! They took out the part about “manifest inadequacies” and removed “dolts.” Actually, the whole structure of the last paragraph was changed, and my visceral loathing for these people was completely lost! F***ing editors…

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